Who Done It?

Oh it's good to be fifteen!

I remember those carefree days. All the time spent with friends...no cares in the world...all you really had to worry about was, well..........your entire future!

But between the hectic school schedule, seminary, wanting a car, wondering where to go to college, (and soon voice lessons), bugging mom about a car, worrying about how much car insurance will cost once we have a student driver (oh wait, that's me), and being a wonderful big sister, Gabby has some time to spend with her friends.

Just a side note about Gabby's pals. She has known these girls since we moved here six years ago. She was in the fourth grade and hating her parents because we moved her in the middle of the year. She didn't know anyone and she was afraid that no one would like her. But she made friends fast and they have continued to be the best of friends. She has had this group of seven that she does everything with. If she isn't with one of these girls she's with another. As a mom I have felt very fortunate that these girls come from such great families and they are a support and encouragement to Gabby and she to them. I coached them in Volleyball for three years and have watched them grow so I feel a little bit of ownership in them. I know the other moms feel the same way.

This year for Cheyenna's birthday (16th), she hosted a murder mystery dinner. Gabby was supposed to be "Torchy" a lounge singer from the late 1920's. They had so much fun. In the end it was Cheyenna who was the murderer.

Torchy a.k.a. Gabby

All of the girls from Left to Right

Chey, Jac, Dani, Tori, Kaela, Valene, and Gabby

Picture Day!

Well, we finally did it!

We haven't had family pics since Gabby was three and Courtney was one. Well not "official" family pics, the ones where you all dress in coordinating outfits and you have an actual photographer there. (The ones where we were all posed in front of my christmas tree don't count) Below are a few samples of our attempt at amatuer modeling. Hope you like!

I'm not being vain or anything but the black and white really works for us! I wondered out loud to Katie why I couldn't just go around all day in black and white.

My awesome kiddos

These are just a few of the many, many pics we took. Kate does a great job and she has a really good eye for placement and background. If you are in the Idaho Falls area and need a great photographer (I bet she wouldn't mind traveling to Boise too) you can find her
here

Reconsidering September

Fall, with all of it's beauty, happens to be my favorite time of year.

September on the other hand is the one month out of the year that can't be over fast enough for me. It's a tragic and strange coincidence that my favorite time of year would be coupled with my least favorite month.

But then you are asking yourself, how could she not like a whole month? That's weird, surely most people only dislike one or two days a year. Maybe Christmas is painful for the lonely, birthdays are less enjoyable for those who keep aging and so on.

But yes, it's true. I have an entire month that I have learned to be wary of.

For some reason the truly life altering, negative things that have happened to me, have happened in September. I am ear marked I tell you.

One fall day, twenty three years ago, my family was getting ready to go on a picnic to the Sand Dunes. We were all packed and ready to go but were delayed because my mom just "felt like there was something else to do" when two neighbor boys came running up to the house and told us that their sister had been in a four wheeler accident. They needed help lifting the machine off of her. My mom grabbed Jess and I, told Vickie to stay home with the younger ones and we went to see how we could help. We lifted the four wheeler off of our young neighbor, my mom gave her CPR, but we later learned she had died instantly from her injuries.

It was September, I was ten, and my faith in mortality was shaken.

The next time it was summer when we learned that we were to have another addition to our family. Excited was a word we used often in our home at that time. But then a feeling of emptiness, a strange dream, and the news that she wouldn't be coming to our family just yet.

It was September 12. Understanding and peace came later.

Oh.

So.

Slowly.

And then this last month, trivial as it may seem in comparison, we were served with a lawsuit for the car accident in March. We have been declared innocent by all accounts. But a lawsuit. What a headache. A major nuisance in my life, when I could really do with out it.

Again.....September

The other night I was sitting there thinking about this lawsuit, fearing it, wondering how to deal with it, when I came across this scripture in Alma 38 versus 4 and 5

"...and thou didst bear all these things with patience because the Lord was with thee........remember that as much as ye put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions..."

Instantly the peace came, the worries vanished and my cares were cast upon the Lord.

As I thought about these events, the letter (it seems) from Heavenly Father directly to me, I realized that it happened in September.

And then I realized another thing....

For all of the pain that this month has dealt me, there has been with it the accompanying peace and support from a loving Father.

Spiritual experiences have come to me to the point of overwhelming me with each of these tragedies, taking from them their sting. A blessed funeral for a little girl where an opportunity to sing "I Am a Child Of God" reminded me of who I am and sealed it in my heart by the power of the Holy Ghost. A dream that showed me the little girl that was not lost, only delayed in coming to our family. And a firm reminder that Heavenly Father is always aware of me and my trials.

Now that my eyes have been opened to the blessings of this month, I feel like I should really

....reconsider September

Preserving For The Future

(our canning booty)

This is how neglectful I have been the last few years.

A couple of days ago Ally was sharing a story about her friend Emily. She ended with,

"Emily didn't go to homecoming this year because she was home helping her mom with the canning."

A long pause.....

"Mom, what is canning?"

Instantly I felt regret that my youngest daughter doesn't know what canning is. I used to can all the time in Washington! Gabby and Courtney definitely remember, they had to help. But Ally was just a baby so she has no recollection of these fun times.

I do have my reasons really for not canning. My garden has not been my favorite place to be since moving to Idaho. I don't know if it's the feelings of impermanence I feel or the fact that the weeds grow faster that I can pull, but whatever it is, I have literally hated my garden for four years now. (The first two years we lived here I didn't have a garden at all) Which is so strange to me because I used to really enjoy my garden when I was younger.

I loved watching the plants as they grew from tiny little seeds until they became the fruit we would eventually eat. I loved canning that fruit, making pickles, canning beets, corn, peaches, pears, salsa, and anything else you could stuff in a jar and process. It was a lot of work but the rewards were worth it.

This year I planted my garden in good faith hoping for an abundance of cucumbers, corn, green beans and everything else. The day after I finished building, constructing (the kids and I built boxes out of railroad ties, hoping to thwart the weeds that grow all around and keep it somewhat manageable) and planting my garden, it started to rain, and didn't stop.......for three weeks. I promise....three weeks of rain, at least once a day. The people who braved the frost and had planted earlier than I were loving it. Their gardens were growing because of the rain. My little seeds however, were rotting in the ground. When my garden did finally come up, it was sparse. A few corn plants here and there. Two of the twelve cucumber plants that were planted. One in five green bean plants......well, you get the idea.

This did little to inspire my confidence in myself as a gardener.

So I hadn't planned on canning anything again this year. Until Ally, with her innocent remark and her unspoken call to action, reminded me that I have a stewardship to perform in raising these children of mine with a knowledge of canning, and gardening (even if it fails, we were still out there working on the darn thing).

Nothing that came from my garden was of any use to me, I just didn't have enough to work with. But we bought a couple boxes of peaches, which had come down in price, helped glean Bruce and Rebecca's garden of tomatoes and went to work. We ended up with ten quarts of peaches, seven pints of salsa, and a renewed determination to fulfill this aspect of motherhood. Because one day these lessons in home preservation may eventually be the keys to self preservation for my children and their children. I'm grateful for my lessons on these subjects and the fact that I have this knowledge to pass on to future generations.

Thanks for the reminder Ally.

Local Tourist

Sometimes I forget how lucky we are to live in such a lovely area. I take for granted that just a few minutes drive away is the Snake River Canyon. You know, the one that Evil Knevil tried to jump, but missed. We spend quite a bit of time there as a family. It's a major attraction for tourists coming through the area, but most of the time we get to have it all to ourselves. Especially if we time it right.

(The Perrine Bridge that spans the canyon)

(The water that falls out of the rocks above the cayon. A little bit over exposed so I tried to fix it.)

(More of the falling water)

On non~hurried days, we like to take a lunch down into the canyon and play at Centennial Park. It's one of the kids' favorite things to do.

(Ally finally mastered the monkey bars)

(Give him something to climb and he's off.)

I guess we figure that since we live here, we'll go someday. We still haven't been to the City of Rocks. But we love Shoshone Falls and go there often as well. Fall is my favorite time to go visit these places since most of the visitors have gone home.

Do you have somewhere that you love to visit? Tell me about it so I can come and see.

Turn Your Face to Heaven

I sat down to write a a new blog a few days ago. I typed out a couple of sentences, but after thinking about the things I wanted to say, I deleted them. Deciding that some things were too personal to share.

But here I am now, wanting to share with you the other thoughts that have been in my head begging to be released.

Over the past two Sunday's or so, we have had lessons on adversity. Our Sunday School lesson focused on it two weeks ago. Our talks in Sacrament Meeting visited the subject again today.

If you will, let me share my own ideas. My thoughts on the subject are this:

I picture myself standing next to the Savior at the end of my life. We review my life together and hopefully I don't get into too much trouble. I've pictured this scenario in my mind a few times. When the Savior turns to me and says "Well Amanda, how do you think you did? Tell me what you learned". I don't want to look back on my life and say...."That was a breeze. I got everything I wanted, didn't shed a tear, was never lonely and just plain had a good time".

Instead I hope to honestly say, "There were times when I didn't think I would make it. The world was pressing down on me so forcefully that I thought I would drown in the turmoil. But when I was pressed down, I found myself on my knees, and that's when You were beside me. There were times when I felt alone, but then when I asked You to, You came to me. I felt sadness only to recognize it's opposite in Joy! I learned so much through my trials, they brought me closer to You and the Father. I learned to have faith and trust in Thee. "

In this months Ensign there is an article about Joseph Smith's time in Liberty Jail. Midway through the article written by Elder Holland, there is this quote:

"..when we promise to follow the Savior, to walk in His footsteps, and be His disciples, we are promising to go where that divine path leads us. And the path of salvation has always led one way or another through Gethsemane. So if the Savior faced such injustices and discouragements, such persecutions, unrighteousness, and suffering we cannot expect that we are not going to face some of that if we still intend to call ourselves His true disciples and faithful followers."

Each of us at some point will face our own personal Gethsemane. Every picture that portrays the Savior in Gethsemane, shows Him with His face turned toward heaven. As our example in all things, He gives us the key to enduring and overcoming our own trials. It is to turn our faces from to world and look to heaven as our source of strength.

I'm getting better at it, but I still have a lot to learn!

Smelling Roses

Is life speeding by for anyone besides me?

I find myself saying over and over again, "where does the time go?"

The kids are growing up. Their activities keep me in constant fast forward.

I haven't blogged in awhile because I really don't know what to blog about. When I am running like I have been it isn't conducive to quiet moments of reflection.

But within the constant movement there are moments, however small, that remind me why I'm here.

A tug on the heartstrings because of a talk in church.

A quiet whispering that brings comfort.

Prayers that are answered by a loving Father.

And then there are the reminders to open my eyes and see the world around me. This lovely world that was created for us.

The other day as I was walking into the dentist office I noticed a rose bush growing by the door (how could I not notice it? It was taller than me). On the impulse of the moment, I gently cupped one of the open buds, leaned in, put my nose next to the soft petals and inhaled the sweet fragrance of summer.

It didn't' occur to me until a few days later that I had actually stopped to smell the roses.

Hmm imagine that.

Eternity's Promise

The first memory I have of my husband was when I was five years old. I was sitting on the bus in my green dress. I didn't get to wear dresses to school very often (in fact I can only remember two instances) because I was so rambuncious. My mom just knew I would be turning cartwheels all over the lawn and the playground, and she was right. So before I was even allowed out of the house I had to give my solemn oath that I wouldn't climb monkey bars, turn cartwheels, swing high in the swings or chase the boys (the last part was a required promise any time I walked out the door). I remember sitting on the bus being my most lady like self when Larry walked by. I had many thoughts at the time in my five year old brain like "He's cute" "He's such an older boy" " I wonder if he likes my dress". I remember these thoughts so clearly probably because it was such a momentous day for me, wearing the dress. I remember the boy, blonde and quiet. He really was a handsome boy.

My next recollection is of the boy every one talked about. The information was whispered and tragic. So sick, would he die? His poor family. "What does he have Mom?" "I can't remember the name of it. It's something very rare."

And then the blonde boy again, a few years later. Riding his green motorcycle. Would he take me for a ride if I asked? I wondered.

As a young woman at a dance Vickie says "he's so cute...you just have to get a look at him". Dressed in his California style I was a little put off. Christmas caroling at his grandparents house, standing in the back, again, the cute boy with the blonde hair, the motorcycles, the illness no one dared mention.

A couple of years later, a first date, a tender kiss. My earth shook, was tipped off balance, and forever changed when I looked into his eyes and saw eternity.

Camping~Beck Family Style

For a few summers now we've been promising the kids that we would take them camping. Spring comes, the anticipation builds. Summer comes, the hay grows and needs cut, the corn grows and has to be chopped. A few swimming excursions at the YMCA, weed the garden, mow the lawn, summer turns into fall and we say again, maybe next year.

I couldn't stand the thought of another summer going by without the long awaited for family camping trip. So I enlisted the help of Ramona. She was game to go, was excited and for some reason, I couldn't let her down. (Maybe it was the taunting, "oh you won't really go" or "you wouldn't last one night without the camper" "you're too high maintenance". For future reference, don't give me a good challenge unless you plan on my winning.)

So for two nights in a row, we braved the elements, fought with faulty mattresses (okay, I'll camp, but not if I have to sleep on the ground, hence the air mattress), killed spiders on our chairs and chased a hungry skunk from our campsite. Courtney only threw up once due to her intense nervousness from the lighting and thunderstorm wailing over head. Our tent, although bent nearly parallel to the ground a few times from the wind storm, survived and provided adequate shelter from the rain that came later the second night.

Larry and Braden at the "dinner table/kitchen area"

Ally, Adam and the back of Devan's head after a long day of swimming.

Samantha, Mona, and Jenna, relaxing before the worst part of the storm hit



The clouds are rolling in

I guess these pictures don't do the waves justice, they were rolling in like we were at the ocean instead of our little lake in Idaho. The spray was blowing at us causing us to close the tents down so we wouldn't all get wet.

We had so much fun swimming for two days. The water was so warm it was like a bathtub. A few family members came to swim but didn't stay the night with us (wimps).

I would totally do it again next year.....I just need to get a new air mattress first.

Driving Lessons

This is Gabby at two years old. This is Gabby driving my car.
This is Gabby in my mind.

Consequently this is me while she drives....

I know, I know! It's not fair to her that she is perpetually two years old in my mind. Especially since she is so mature and handles life with such grace. But this driving thing has seriously tweaked my insides.

Maybe it's because I remember being fifteen and how fast I drove. I actually used to drag race through town with Jason and along the highway with Dusty. AAhhhhhh! I would kill my daughter if she did that!

Maybe it's because I have been in nine car accidents since and know how fast things can happen. When I was fifteen I had NO idea that a car accident would happen to ME! Let alone nine of them!

Or maybe it's because this means I have only three years with Gabby still at home. After that, she gets to pursue her life. Independence and college. She'll leave the shelter of my wings and start to build her own nest. These driving lessons are only the beginning.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.